


Pain

by orphan_account



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types, Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: F/F, Hollstein - Freeform, LGBTQ Character, Love, POV Carmilla, Pain, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 06:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6789406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla keeps a diary on Laura as she ages. </p><p>(Major Character Death, Angst)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pain

**Author's Note:**

> I'd normally say enjoy but I don't know about this one.

8 May 2016

She's an absolute lackwit. Today we went on a picnic, and convinced me that I was the 'bottom' in our relationship. I proved her wrong instantly. The grass got in the way, but other than that, I'm sure I taught her. 

She also managed to sneak into an orchard and shake a few apples off a tree. I'm not even sure if I could do that. I actually could, but she's a human, so the comparison is gawk worthy. 

Tomorrow we're due to watch some stupid movie where superheroes have some sort of civil war. I'm no hero, but I'm certain you're not classified as a superhero if you fight another superhero. Maybe it's just modern society. Maybe it's me. Although I'm pretty sure it's modern society.

 

22 October 2016

Well, it's been a while. I found you again under a dusty pile of books in the attic. There's a lot to tell, but Laura and I moved in. I don't remember being happier. 

Take last week, I woke up to make her a nice breakfast for a change. She woke up and came into the kitchen, starting a flour fight. We ended up having sex on the kitchen counter. We're crazy. I guess that's why we fit. I love her with every fibre of my being. 

Silas university got shut down after a massive explosion ensued, killing Lophii. I'll see that thing in hell. 

LaFontaine and Perry live just an hour away. We visit them often. 

There's not much else to write. Laura's yelling my name. I'd better get out the attic.

 

5 April 2024

I've never been one for punctuality. I'm honestly surprised this book is still with us. This time I found it in the garage drenching in lighter fluid. I let it dry out back once I saw the previous writing was salvageable. 

Since the last passage, eight years have gone by. Laura has matured wonderfully. Every now and then she'll raid the cookie jar and we'll watch Netflix and act like teenagers, but most of the time we have peaceful nights on the balcony. 

Now that Laura is 27, I've been meaning to take things one step further. Next month I plan to propose. I don't know where it'll take us, but I definitely love her enough to marry her. My heart is about to burst simply thinking about my love for her. 

 

18 May 2024

I did it I did it I did it! 

Laura said yes! Our wedding is to be planned. 

I could not be more ecstatic! 

Although I love you Laura, you need to stop yelling my name. I need to get out the attic. 

 

24 July 2035

I decided to keep this book a little closer at hand. This time I kept this thing in a box of books I love.

Laura's now 38. I'm just a few decades older. Honestly, who is counting?

This book is sweet in the sense that I get such nostalgia reading through the few passages. They're like resuscitating precious gems, although I'm the only one who finds them precious. That's what makes it precious. 

In the past 11 years, Laura and I have had a child! Her name is Alice, she is gorgeous and we love her so. We also got married a long while back, as you can recall after the proposal. Laura decided to take after my name, so her full name is officially Laura Karnstein. I didn't pressure her whatsoever, making sure she really wanted to be a Karnstein. She willingly pleaded, so we went to DMV and changed a long list of official documents. 

Alice is now 6, and turns 7 in December. Life is simply swell. 

 

2 December 2040 

Today is my darling angel's birthday. She is 12. I refuse to believe how fast a child grows. Not to mention, Laura is now 43.

I insisted we go to the doctor just to make sure she was alright, and we just came back. Alice came along, and there is some rather grave news. 

My fingers struggle to write these words, but Alice has a tumour growing in her brain. 

My heart aches. She's only 12. What has she done to deserve it? 

Laura is healthy as can be due to her quirky pescetarian diet, and I strongly refused to be checked up on by some doctor. I'm certainly well. 

 

14 February 2041

Alice's chemotherapy starts today. 

 

27 August 2045

We are all dressed in black,  
Fearing those who control us,

From above we are merely ants,  
Toyed with to prove the point,  
That we are nothing,

Tears roll down my eyes,  
My cursed existence reminds me,  
I am nothing.

Today Alice passed away. The brain tumour was the beginning of a vigorous cancer. The funeral finished less than an hour ago. 

I must go. Laura is crying a name out again, but it's not mine.

 

25 December 2055

I wonder how old I am. I have truly forgotten. Laura is 58. Her luscious brown hair now as distinct steaks of grey hair in them. I remain cursedly in my teenage body. 

She complains to me everyday and insists that I am deceitful and am in some sort of affair. 

The blatant and obvious truth is that I'm not. I love her, and nobody else. It hurts me for her to think that I would be so unfaithful. 

On better days she drops unsubtle hints for me to convert her into a vampire. I don't know if I can. I want to, of course, but I'm unsure if she can handle it, in the least disrespectful way. 

I barely managed. She's stronger than I am in some attributes such as mentality, but I'm still unsure. 

I must shake my head and smile. I love Laura. I always will.

 

8 September 2061

Word has come through a devastating phone call from Danny Lawrence that LaFontaine passed away from a heart attack. Perry couldn't bare and commit suicide. They had been married for a good few decades. 

The world truly seems a lot bleaker without their common visits.

Laura is now 64. The hints for a conversion are no longer hints. Today she screamed at me and burst into tears, slamming doors after I didn't answer her. 

I didn't know I could still cry myself, but it's clear that I still can. 

I'm scared. I truly am. Laura is 64. Only yesterday she was the cheerful, jolly 19 year old trying to save a demonic university. 

Now she's grumpy and refuses to talk to me unless it's about the transformation. 

I sleep on the couch and hear her cry upstairs on her own. 

The book is filled with more devastating memories than wonderful ones. 

I shall burn this book once I'm done with it.

 

31 December 2079

The ambulance is on there way. Im panicking to much. I can barely write.

Laura fell down the stairs

Shes not breathing oh god help

Please make her breath please make it stop

shes not waking up

the sirens are coming theire gettingcloser

laura wake up please

please wake up

blood is coming its leaking eveywhere

laura please wake up i love you please wake up stop bleading breath cupcake breath

Theire--/.               ---    

^

              \

 

The bastards pulled me away from Laura. I'm seated in the hospital. They think I'm her daughter.

I furiously punched the detective in the nose after he accused me of murdering 'my mother'. Laura isn't my mother and I certainly didn't murder her. I'll show him murder. Psychopath. 

Some woman just handed me a cup of hot chocolate. 

The police just asked me a few questions, asking for my relationship with Laura. I told them the truth, but they refused to believe me. I laughed and spat hot chocolate in their face. They weren't happy. They kicked me out the hospital. So now I'm outside in the freezing cold.

Oh would you look at that. It's ten past midnight.

Happy new year creampuff. I love you dearly, Laura.

 

1 January 2080

"Dear Ms. Karnstein,

Your relative, Laura Karnstein had tragically passed away due to traumatic brain injury. All options were unable resuscitate her after she died on the 1/1/2080 at 02:34. A death certificate will be needed for security records. Please visit us at your earliest convenience. 

We offer our greatest condolences to you and your family. We understand that this can be a truly traumatic time in a person's life. Attached are a list of free counsellors and people who can help with funeral arrangements.

We wish you all the best."

 

29 January 2080

She looked beautiful in her casket. They cleaned up her head wound well. 

I regret not converting her. I crave to hold her hand. I wish to comfort her in times of distress. I miss her.

I miss you Laura. I still love you. 

I'd wait forever for you. Truly forever. 

I'll wait. I'd wait years by your casket for you to wake. 

I'll wait a thousand more years, whatever it takes.

I wish to join you.

I will join you.

I love you Laura Hollis. I always have and always will. Once this book is burnt to ash, I vow to join you as soon as I can. 

I guess that's why I never converted you. I was too busy shaving wooden sticks from the tree in our back garden up in the attic.

The stakes await my black heart.


End file.
